American mothers are schedule geeks. Schedules are on phones, computer calendars, paper calendars hanging in the kitchen with each child’s activity in a different color and sometimes in small journals as well. It’s chess, ballet, soccer, piano, school play and, of course, birthday parties.
What upsets me most is that the “experts”-doctors, psychologists, columnists, editors- tell us that we really need to schedule a “date” night and a “sex play date” with our husbands also. “Light a candle”, make it “romantic” they advise. If my cell phone has to beep to remind me that it’s sex time and I’m worried that we will fall asleep without blowing out the candle, how passionate is this going to be?
I remember when being near each other was being in the center of a magnetic field. So powerful that lips closed on each other with positive/negative attraction even on a public street. When the scent of each of us rose above the smell of litter, dog poop, and the roasted nut and hot dog stands.
How do French men do it? According to Pamela Druckerman they don’t assume responsibility for an equal amount of housekeeping and child rearing duties even when la mere works full time. Is it the 6 months paid maternity leave or the ready available and inexpensive childcare available even on weekends? Or is it the beauty of the language even though you speak it too and hear it every day. Maybe French men have not forgotten how to look at a woman in particular or women in general, or both. Je ne sais pas.
But one shouldn’t have to wait for a “cialis moment”. By that time, even if it’s husband # 2, the schedule may be completely filled.